This is, of course, the most foundational question of all. Having been convinced that your future spouse is a believer, are you also able to respect their character?Does that person have the kind of character that will be a blessing to you throughout your marriage?If you want to truly understand how ridiculous this notion is, here’s what it would sound like with the gender roles reversed. No to offloading your immaturity onto the women around you. You should probably go ahead and learn how to relationship while you’re Jesusing. This idea is primarily motivated by fear of voracious little sex drives running about, and like anything motivated by fear, it jumbles everything into a needless mess.
How about the type and level of your commitment to the local church? Does your future spouse have close friendships or have many of his or her former friends become isolated?
Do not assume that you both have the same or even similar life goals. While much of married life will be lived in relative isolation, much will also be lived in community. It is rare that a couple enters marriage without a romantic and sexual history (with one another or with others) and these issues can be very difficult to discuss resolve.
The stress of engagement and marriage planning will all but guarantee you will have a couple of good fights, and these will give you the opportunity to see if and how you can resolve them. Don’t expect that your spouse will some day be a completely different (and better) person.
Couples don’t always pursue marriage for the best of reasons.
Sometimes it’s that they are feeling guilt for sexual involvement.