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"Ever since my father died, I've been terrified to get too close to anyone..." The e-mail was long and apologetic, full of searing self-criticism and shamefaced confessions.The mere sound of Jamie's voice made my heart thump wildly. He said he'd like nothing more than to meet me but admitted he still felt scared. "You might not be attracted to me." In hindsight, I should have cut and run right then.Also, we know your phone auto-capitalizes the start of a text, so you had to GO BACK and un-capitalize it.

The battered-shrimp emoji means “you don’t need to respond anymore; the conversation is over.” The closed mailbox with the flag down means “I think we should see other people.” The little blue fish that looks worried means “I slept with your sister.” Alas, society is too busy dealing with Jack’s death on , which means that everyone just needs to learn how to text.

This problem is magnified in hetero dating scenarios.

Text her, “Hey, I’m in meetings all day, so I’ll be offline, but have a good day and we’ll touch base later!

” If you’re going to bed and you’re done talking, just say, “I’m going to bed now, sleep tight!

A bit of enthusiasm up front means when you end the conversation, you’re a lot less likely to seem rude. If the person you're texting makes a joke, you don’t have to impress her with a follow-up quip.