I want to be sure that I am getting my needs met and that I’m not just a “rebound” for him. Dear Karen, One thing I know about widowers, followed by two things I know about men.
Also, tell your partner that “You’re with me now, so you shouldn’t be thinking about your dead person”After the Applebee’s incident, you’ve vowed that the two of you will avoid Duncan and make a dinner together at home. All you’ve really done tonight, is replicate a normal night that your partner had with their past person.
The standard discussion of what to actually make goes on for days, until you defer to your partner’s desire for macaroni and cheese with little hot dogs cut up and simmered ever so gently in the salty yellow goo. As the two of you listen with awe at Justin Guarini’s siren-like voice, your partner casually exclaims “such-and-such and I used to watch this all the time just like this! You simply acted as a surrogate, and your partner doesn’t enjoy your company..your ability to BE their prior person.
He’s a recent widower (wife died of cancer in June 2010.) We started dating just after Labor Day. We live about an hour and 1/2 apart and he has a very high level job and a big house to take care of (and a dog.) There has been no sex yet but lots of “foreplay.” He says he always waits to have sex until he’s more sure of the woman.
I want to see more of him at this point (3 months,) especially on Saturday nights.
The two of you will be at a restaurant, let’s say Applebee’s, because you both enjoy the finer things in life.